Mai's Ramblings - Loopai

Mai on... Loopai... ?

"Infantile fans pairing themselves with fictional characters is nothing new to the internet, but somehow a cult has formed around the comedic partnership between myself and Avatar: The Last Airbender fan Loopy.

"When I made my big debut on the scene HEY LOOK AT ME I'M A NINJA WHAT'S SO GREAT ABOUT BENDERS ANYWAY I was appreciated as a decent if not particularly attractive miniboss villain but some people LIKE THE WHOLE INTERNET BUT REALLY IT'S NOT LIKE YOU CAN FIND ANY SMART PEOPLE ON IT took issue with the fact that I found reason to SMILE when thinking about main character and professional villain OR IS HE AN ANTI-HERO and designated 'moron who must move the plot forward by being a moron' Zuko the prince of the Fire Nation. My reasons for doing so are my own OH LOOK IT'S A FLASHBACK SHOWCASING MY HUMILIATING CHILDHOOD CRUSH ON OUR ANTI-HERO but nevertheless some loud people were inspired to new levels of sonic debauchery because I appeared to be a threat to Zuko's romantic prospects with all kinds of much more interesting characters WHO WE SHALL NOT MENTION BY NAME BUT STOPPING AND STARTING WITH 'KATARA' WOULDN'T BE ENTIRELY OFF BASE and so in the name of fairness said shouters deconstructed me to the Great Divide and back and came up with a laundry list of my aspects that proved I was a blight on Zuko's story and specified such burning crimes as having an annoying voice HEY EAT ENOUGH EXTRA SPICY FIRE FLAKES AND SEE HOW YOU SOUND IF YOU CAN EVEN SEE SOUND and looking like a boy EVEN THOUGH THE ONLY BOY WHO EVEN LOOKS REMOTELY LIKE ME IS LEONARD NIMOY BUT LAST I CHECKED HE DIDN'T HAVE A FIGURE and having a horribly dour attitude that sucked the life and hope out of whatever setting I happened to thrown in NOT ONLY IS THAT LAST ONE ACCURATE BUT I WORK VERY HARD TO KEEP IT SO and so in conclusion if I so much as made a move on Zuko I would face the wrath of a whole bunch of electronic child terrorists who would go so far as to destroy DVD's they had already paid money for in expression of their distaste for Zuko's romantic choice.

"Maybe if I had been interested in less beloved characters like Sokka ON THE OTHER HAND SUKI GOT ENOUGH WELL-DESERVED HATE BUT I THINK IT WAS MORE FOR HER RIDICULOUS COSTUME or Jet BECAUSE EVEN I CAN COMPETE WITH SMELLERBEE or Haru I wouldn't have gotten in much trouble but honestly I'm actually rather shy when I'm not lambasting other couples and a childhood crush was right up my ally and to Inferno with what everyone else thinks about it and so being trained in the art of diplomacy I STAYED AWAKE THROUGH AT LEAST THREE OF MY LESSONS I did the right thing and threw myself at Zuko and made out with him until we both passed out form lack of oxygen and after minimal trouble we beat up all our enemies and finished the story ready to get married.

"Moving on we come to an even more pathetic tale WHAT FALLING IN LOVE OVER FLAMING APPLES DOESN'T STRIKE YOU AS A BIT SUB-PAR we have the person known on certain quarters of the internet as Loopy I COULD GIVE YOU HIS REAL NAME BUT HONESTLY HE'S SUCH A NOBODY IT WOULDN'T DO YOU AN GOOD but by certain quarters I mean only the gaggle of discussion threads known as Avatar Spirit Dot Net because our hero Loopy apparently didn't have the creativity to come up with a codename OR WHATEVER YOU CALL IT that wasn't already taken on the majority of user-heavy internet communities BUT THEN I DON'T EVEN PRONOUNCE BY OWN NAME RIGHT SO WHO AM I TO TALK. Loopy was never considered at any point to worth the oxygen and carbon he was using up by living but even by internet board-messenger standards he was a particularly redundant manifestation who posted nothing but crude jokes and bad puns and homoerotic fan fiction about Sokka and Zuko OOH I MAY HAVE TO LOOK INTO THAT LAST ONE in a rather pathetic attempt to draw attention to himself because in real life he's social outcast who spends way too much time playing violent video games and can't make friends without assistance IT'S NOT THAT I NEED TY LEE WITH ME TO MAKE FRIENDS IT'S JUST THAT SHE MAKES IT A LOT EASIER and tries to compensate for his completely woman-less future by making poor attempts at flirting with Avatar fangirls who are half his age but probably have twice his mental maturity.

"Somewhere along the way this degenerate took a liking to me for my sparkling personality I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD BE PLEASED BY THAT OR INSULTED THAT HE WASN'T OGGLING MY BODY and began looking at life the universe and everything from my own characteristically dark perspective and during one of his what we shall call mating dances 'HEY LOOK AT ME I THINK KATARA AND SOKKA MAKE OUT A LOT HAR HAR' he typed up my thoughts of the various romantic pairings I'm forced to deal with on a daily basis HEY GET A ROOM OR BETTER YET YOUR OWN ISLAND SOMEWHERE AND DON'T COME BACK WITHOUT FIRE FLAKES and sent them out onto the dreaded internet for everyone and Ty Lee to read and subsequently find new reasons to hate me over I MEAN I KNOW TELLING TY LEE SOMETHING IS A GOOD WAY TO LET THE WHOLE WORLD KNOW BUT I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT MOST BOYS KNOW HOW TO KEEP A SECRET but thanks to the small amount of wit he harbors in the back of his twisted little mind he managed to get some people to laugh with me instead of at me WELL AZULA SOMETIMES LAUGHED WITH ME BUT I'M TOLD THAT MAKING PEOPLE BLEED IS SUPPOSED TO BE SERIOUS STUFF and people began asking for more of my pessimistic thoughts spiced up with Loopy's editing and so we entered into a fan fiction partnership UGH FAN FICTION NOW I FEEL DIRTY DOES THING MEAN I HAVE TO GIVE UP ZUKO AND MOVE BACK IN WITH MY PARENTS and as a result now some people like me a little more or at least willing to admit that I add something to the universe I've been cursed to inhabit and Loopy in turn has more little girls and fat men fawning all over him and both of us have had some of our chronic boredom relieved.

"As a side effect of all this excitement and stardom OH LOOK WE GOT 5 HITS THIS WEEK ON FANFICTION DOT NET HOLLYWOOD HERE WE COME Loopy and I spend a lot of time together to the point that there's actually a piece of his brain I permanently inhabit now TRUST ME YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW WHAT KIND OF WEIRD JUNK HE PONDERS HERE'S A HINT HE THINKS OPTIMUS PRIME AND MEGATRON ARE A CUTE COUPLE and I in turn tell him all kinds of secret thoughts that Zuko says I shouldn't say out loud ever HE'S SO CUTE HE STILL THINKS HAVING FRIENDS IS A GOOD THING and as a result I think about him a lot and have become emotionally invested in him and have come to find him really good-looking and whenever I think about him now I blush and our time together is when I'm at my happiest and he's a good guy if you just get to know him and he's very intelligent and clever and his fan fiction really transcends the genre and the rest of the world is stupid for not giving him his due and I just want to kiss him and HE'S MAKING ME SAY THING THIS IF ANYONE OUT THERE CAN HEAR ME GET ZUKO OR MAYBE SOKKA BUT JUST BRING HELP OH INFERNO HE'S IN MY MIND I CAN FEEL MY MIND GOING I NEED MMMMMMMFFFFFFFFFFF MPH MRGH MFFFFFFFF RRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

"..."