Mai's secret thoughts on all the Avatar ships- you know the funny is coming when the driest, most critical personality in the show decides to let it all out! Everything Avatar is analyzed and described in the most ridiculous way possible! A fan favorite!
Mai's Ramblings - Kataang by Loopy777, literature
Literature
Mai's Ramblings - Kataang
Mai on... Kataang.
"Take the two most cavity-carving twits in the show, buckle them both in chastity belts, and you have the main 'ship' of Avatar: The Last Airbender.
"Aang is an airbending freak with no hair and a body build like my little brother WHO'S TWO YEARS OLD, but he has a personality that could favorably be compared to an affectionate puppy so he naturally lights up Katara's radar like a firetruck with its siren set to 11. Katara was dark-skinned, exotic, as curved as a lamppost, and uninterested in getting some, so naturally the romance didn't progress much until season 3 when she suddenly discovered America and puberty set in.
Mai on... Sukka!
"Sukka- the Avatar ship for people who like their men girly, their women desperate, and their heat level higher than Ozai on Cactus Juice.
"Sokka has the unfortunate luck to combine the sexiest male body on the planet with a personality so girly even Ty Lee got jealous. Early in his adventures he meets a girl named Suki and falls head over heals for her, drawing yet another disturbing comparison to Ty Lee with both his agility and love for people in CLOWN makeup. Suki is the greatest warrior on the planet, and also the hottest girl on the planet IF YOU LIKE THAT SORT OF THING, and wiser than three Avatars in a barrel, so of
Mai on... Ty Zula.
"No matter how hard, fast, and consistently Nickelodeon denies it, one of the canon ships that snuck past the censors was the illicit romance between Princess Azula and Ty Lee, the two fruitcakes I have the misfortune to call my best friends.
"Azula had a rough childhood that consisted of being the Fire Lord's favorite person in the whole world and so got away with every single antic she perpetrated in service to her inborn misanthropy. She might give you a spiel about how she never had her mother's love and that it resulted in a lifetime of sociopathic rampaging, but the truth is that torturing her big brother Zuko with
Mai on... Pakkana!
"Perhaps the second-most surprising official coupling of Avatar: The Last Airbender BEHIND MY OWN OVERLY COMPLICATED ROMANCE is the geriatric cuddle-fest between Pakku the Waterbending Master and Kana the former FemiNazi.
"Kana was born in the Northern Watertribe where woman are prevented from learning any useful Waterbending aside from the rare and highly valued healing arts, and she was betrothed to Bender Prodigy and Man of the Year, Pakku. Kana never had any bending ability at all and judging from her INBRED SOCIALLY-CHALLENGED GRANDKIDS her family was hardly the sort that anyone would want to willingly marry into, bu
Mai on... Kyakoda!
"Successful adult relationships are rare enough on Avatar: The Last Airbender but one that somehow managed to generate a minimal amount of suspense was the devastatingly tragic SNIFF SNIFF marriage between Hakoda of the Southern Water Tribe and Kya She of that Silly Little Necklace.
"The necklace itself used to be Old Lady Kana's betrothal necklace that she got from Old Geezer Pakku and even though she ran a full 180 degrees of a world away from him she kept it as some kind of morbid family heirloom and it was eventually passed to Kya. I don't know if Kana was Kya's mother or Hakoda's mother but to be honest I have troubl
Mai on... Moppa!
"When it comes to Avatar: The Last Airbender anything and everything is fodder for 'shipping' including animals and various manufactured transports. The most famous of the former is the completely imaginary romantic affair between the disgusting monster Air Bison Appa and the hyperactive annoying Lemur Momo, and as disgusting as it is to imagine these two pairing up it has still been deemed by the grand powers that be THANK YOU MIKE AND BRYAN to be more probable and tasteful than the even more imaginary 'Zutara' relationship which I disliked for COMPLETELY UNBIASED REASONS.
"Appa is an Air Bison which looks like a mix betwe
Mai on... Urzai!
"Easily the most absolutely dysfunctional ship in the entire Avatar series YES EVEN COUNTING ZUTARA is the tumultuous marriage between Phoenix Fire King Lord Ozai and Bad News Ursa.
"Ozai was the younger son of Fire Lord Azulon who no one knows much about and we can't really judge him by his children because one was a tea-loving clown and the other was psychopath who lit babies on fire for jollies. He really wanted to be in charge because, you know, people who light babies on fire are just like that where that have to be in charge even though they'll just light the babies on fire regardless.
"Ursa was an overly nice lady F
Mai on... Chily!
"If I had to pick one couple in Avatar: The Last Airbender to stand as a shining antithesis of everything I value and live by, it would be the legally unrecognized pairing between the two NOT ENTIRELY SOBER hippies Chong and Lily.
"Both are part of a group of traveling nomads NO NOT AIR NOMADS JUST HIPPIES whose sole purpose in life is to basically wander around the Earth Kingdom playing music that has no business being heard by human ears, but if it's heard by animals ears that may be even worse because believe it not there are some people out there who worry more about the suffering of turtleducks than humans AND MY BOYFR
Mai on... Rozin!
"No one on Avatar is a stranger to romantic woes, but the failed relationship between Fire Lord Sozin and Avatar Roku is probably the one that hurt and disrupted the most number of other people.
"Back about a hundred thousand years ago Roku and Sozin were bestest buddies who hung out together and practiced Firebending together and talked about girls together and celebrated birthdays together and ran around the Capital City together and I THINK WE CAN FIGURE OUT THE PATTERN ALREADY did everything together up to and perhaps including potty breaks EW GROSS. You'd think the Crown Prince would have more than one friend because e
Main on... Taang!
"As common as it is on Avatar: The Last Airbender for relationships to form between wimpy men and tough awesome women, the idea is best showcased in the friendship MAYBE MORE between the Avatar Aang and Toph Bei Fong.
"Being an Avatar meant that Aang had to learn all four elements as part of his training to become the world's great unwanted supercop but that wasn't as easy a proposition as it sounded. He already knew Airbending when he came out of his iceberg because for some reason the old Air Nomads thought that teaching all of their kids how to sneeze with AN INTENT TO MAIM would make life more interesting OH YEAH LOTS