Traitor's Face - Chapter 11

Zuko's War

Aang didn't quite understand, yet, the full nature of being the Avatar. It came with responsibilities and powers that he was only beginning to taste. So it was hard, sometimes, to say when he simply had a bad feeling like everybody else got, or when some perception granted by the Avatar Spirit was detecting a manifestation beyond her normal ken. How much was imagination, and how much was wisdom from beyond his humanity? Nevertheless, Aang had woken up just now, in the middle of the night, with the distinct impression that his Avatar Sense was tingling.

He was sleeping as he usually did, atop Appa's head in the great outdoors, beside the hut where a healer lived and worked near Chin Village. Grass shifted in the soft breeze, and the road in the distance was completely deserted. Aang slid down from Appa and snuck around to the front of the hut. Sokka's tent was pitched nearby, and the older boy was presumably inside, dreaming about killer food or something like that. Aang turned to the hut itself, and leaned his head through the entrance. The only light within came from the glow of the moon and stars through the windows, casting just enough illumination to reveal the pallet where Mai was sleeping, recovering from the burns she had received on Kyoshi Island. She was tossing and turning beneath her blanket, which Aang didn't think was good. The healer had said that Mai needed to avoid moving, so that the skin of her side could heal properly. On the other hand, she also needed her rest, so waking her up in the middle of the night wouldn't be good, either.

Aang compromised by tiptoeing up to her, thinking to perhaps straighten blanket or something soothing, but as he approached, she rolled over again, muttering and breathing laboriously. Was she having a bad dream? Aang leaned over her, unable to help noticing that her normally shining hair was matted with sweat. She spoke again, and this time, Aang caught the word: "Zuko... fire..."

What was a zuko? A Fire Nation term? Something to do with her injury?

Before Aang could decide what to do, he heard a familiar cooing, and Momo flew into the hut through a window to land right on top of Mai's blanket. The lemur turned in a quick circle before settling down as if to sleep, and Mai immediately calmed. Her breathing slowed, and the tenseness in her form faded. Aang waited a little longer to confirm it, but she seemed to be okay now, sleeping peacefully and no longer moving. Satisfied at his luck, he headed back to Appa, looking forward to his own sleep. If Mai was feeling well, they'd have to move on in the morning, in case word of their visit got back to the Fire Nation.

A fight would be the last thing Mai needed.

---

Pinned to a tree by shards of volcano glass in a glowing forest that couldn't be real, Zuko's mind was racing as he tried to make sense of things. In front of him stood a woman who could only be Mai- the girl from a place of memory in his heart where even he feared to tread- brandishing a black glass knife and claiming to be here for his death. "How- how can you be here? Where is here?"

"Oh, Prince Zuko. There's so much you don't understand." Mai lowered the knife and stuck her tongue out at him. "Destiny knew what it was doing when it gave your little sister more than the usual share of brains. Too bad you didn't bring her along." She pulled her cloak back over her white funeral garb and pranced over to a copse of trees, coming to lean against one of the trunks and turning sultry eyes back to Zuko. "I'm here to save you, my Prince! My body and heart are yours forever!"

There was no doubt that she was beautiful, surpassing all the fantasies that Zuko had ever conjured of what Mai would be once she left childhood behind, but all he felt from this sight was a coldness that calmed his mind and revealed the answers he had been seeking. "You're not Mai."

"How can you say that? You haven't even tasted me yet."

"There's more to humans than how they look."

"There is?"

"Much more."

"Huh." The Thing That Was Not Mai stood up straight again and raised her hands to touch her face. "You humans give so much weight to how things look, I thought that it was all you care about. Too bad I couldn't borrow her full personality as well, but I like her manner of speaking." She skipped over to Zuko and placed a hand- warm through his clothes, almost burning- on his chest. Their faces were so close that he could feel her sweet breath on his lips as she whispered, "Would it hurt more if I tore out your heart while wearing this face?"

Zuko did what he did best and completely ignored the uncomfortable question. "What is going on? Why are you doing this?"

"Why?" Not-Mai backed away from him again, cocking her head to the side and giving him a confused stare. "Now you're just messing with me. I know humans are experts in revenge. You love it more than you love each other."

"Revenge for what?"

"Oh, why limit it?" Not-Mai smiled and licked her lips. "Your nation has had a hundred years to accumulate guilt for what it's done to the entire world. Let's not devalue that kind of effort by pinning it down in the form of a list."

It was as Zuko suspected. "You were the Spirit of this forest. You want revenge for the ashland."

"A Spirit of the forest, you ignoramus. Do you think all that ash came from a handful of trees? The forest stretched from horizon to horizon. Entire villages of humans lived in its comfort, so far apart that they forgot about each other centuries ago, and did homage to a variety of Spirits. And yet they all contributed to the one army that marched off to save the Land of Earth." Not-Mai giggled. "You probably would have liked that army. It was very, very big, and they all had nice shiny armor. You humans love things that are big and shiny. But then again, your people chased them back to this forest, and then used the power of the Comet to kill every last soldier, so maybe you wouldn't have liked it so much. You're not supposed to burn the things you like." She stepped forward and caressed the scar on Zuko's face. "Right?"

Zuko yanked away, finally ripping his clothes enough to tear away from the shards of volcano glass that had been pinning him to the tree. He took an attack stance and faced his opponent.

Not-Mai shook her hands free from her cloak and planted them on her hips. "I didn't think scars were so sensitive," she said, winking.

"Are you going to talk me to death, or are you going to get this revenge you want?"

"You're right! The night is old, and if we're going to get this done, we need to do it before your Patron lights up the sky again." Not-Mai raised a hand above her head and a shaft of moonlight broke through the forest's canopy to light her up. She swung her hand out, and Zuko tensed for an attack-

-as she pointed off to her left. "That way."

Zuko blinked, and looked where she was pointing. It was just more of this Spirit Forest. "That way for what?"

"The boy you're looking for. Shugao. He went that way. Off you go! I want to see your cute little butt bouncing along in that direction. Quickly, now!"

Zuko didn't relax out of his stance. "I thought you wanted revenge. You're trying to send me in the wrong direction."

"Wow. I can see why your Mai likes you so much; humans love the chance to nurture and control other humans." Not-Mai pushed her cloak back fully, once again revealing the white mourning robes beneath, undyed and unsullied. They were robes without life, but also robes on which anything could be written, the turning point of the reincarnation cycle. "There is no wrong direction here, Prince Zuko. Either you will fail in your search, and wander the ashland until you choke to death in the foulness of your own people, or you will succeed in your quest to rescue Shugao, and walk into the bright world once more, ruined by the experience. Ask your sister sometime about the strategic importance of no-win situations. I doubt you'll understand, but it should make her happy, at least."

Not-Mai yanked her black cloak off and tossed it at Zuko's face. He grabbed it in midair and pulled it away so that it wouldn't entrap him, removing it from his vision so that he was only left blind for less than a second-

-and the Spirit that had been wearing Mai's face was gone.

Zuko got moving a moment later in the same direction that the Spirit had pointed, leaving the cloak behind, and found a path through the underbrush of the forest, a dirt path on which child-sized footsteps led off into the night.

---

Zuko walked for years until he came to a fork in the path. It split neatly, with a thick swath of trees down the middle, the two new paths completely invisible to each other. Zuko looked for the tracks, and found them leading clearly down the path on his right. It was so clear that he expected a trick, and scouted the left path for a short distance to make sure that the tracks wouldn't magically switch.

Eventually, he decided to go back and take the right path, and turned around to find his mother walking towards him.

Zuko jolted to a stop and blinked his one good eye, but the vision didn't change. His mother was walking slowly down the path in her old red and gold cloak, her hood up and her head bowed. Beside her was a darker figure, matching her pace, and as the pair approached, Zuko's stomach clenched. He recognized the person walking beside his mother, and realized what Not-Mai had meant by this experience being ruinous. The person escorting his mother was Piandao, his father's trusted servant. It was exactly like the last time Zuko had ever seen his mother.

He backed away from the approaching figures, one step at a time, and as he walked, the packed dirt of the path hardened, and his boots clacked against the polished marble of the Fire Palace's courtyard. Zuko whirled, finding a mix of the familiar and the foreign, the palace he had grown up in looming above him even while the glowing trees of the Spirit Forest refused to give way, standing incongruously in the palace courtyard and blocking the longer view with their leaves. Mother and Piandao were close enough that their own footsteps were now clacking on the marble as well, and Zuko turned to face them. He couldn't let this be like all those years ago. "Mother," he called out, and realized with dismay that it had been the same opening he had used back then as well.

Mother looked up at last at the sound of his voice, and she once more wore the same wary expression beneath her hood. She moved towards Zuko, but Piandao stepped to block her path and said, "Prince Zuko, what are you doing out here so late? Getting in some extra Firebending practice?"

That was indeed what he had been doing, the first time, but this was different. He was in this forest to save Shugao, but perhaps he could save Mother as well. "Where are you taking her?"

"This has nothing to do with you, my Prince. Go back inside, go to bed, and everything will be fine."

Piandao was repeating himself like a memory, but this time Zuko would not just stand there in confusion. Even as Mother was nodding, saying, "Don't worry yourself about me. Good night, Zuko. I will always protect you," Zuko was moving forward, advancing on Piandao. He might not have his Firebending, but he was a man now, and he wasn't afraid of Father's thug. He could fight, even without fire, and would save his mother.

Five steps from where Zuko planned to begin his attack, Piandao drew a jian sword from its scabbard and pointed the blade directly at Zuko's face. Strangely, the blade was not metal. Zuko had seen Piandao's sword many times in his youth, during all those court demonstrations of trick swordplay. The sword had a metal blade, no different from any other jian.

This sword had a blade of black volcano glass, twinkling in the light of the moon and the stars and the luminescent trees.

Zuko tried to twist and dash around the blade, but Piandao moved to block him, slicing the sword across his path. Piandao's footwork kept his body between Zuko and Mother, his sword held out in an effective guard position. Zuko feinted to his left, and then tried to circle around the other way, but Piandao tilted the long blade to cut him off, and then let loose a flurry of stabs that made Zuko stumble backwards to avoid having his chest poked full of holes. He stumbled when he found not the flat marble of the courtyard, but a dip in the packed dirt of the forest path, and fell to the ground. Piandao drew his sword back even before Zuko finished his tumble.

When he looked up again, Piandao was once more leading Mother deeper down the path. The Fire Palace was gone.

As they moved away, rain began falling from a completely clear sky.

It started with a drop that smacked down on Zuko's head. As he got to his feet, other drops fell loudly around him. Zuko hurried after his mother, and the rain became denser, wind blowing it with extra strength to lash coldly.

Before he could reach Mother, Zuko realized that the rain was going to wash away Shugao's tracks on the other path.

Mother and Piandao continued on their way, not even looking back, moving briskly in the rain. Zuko was sure he could catch them, but what would he do, then? Could he fight Piandao? Could he convince Mother to flee?

Was any of it even real?

Zuko realized that this was the trick of the Spirit Forest. It was taunting him with failure, trying to sway him from his goal. A little refugee boy would be lost in this nightmare forever, and it would be Zuko's fault.

With one last look at his departing mother, Zuko turned and headed back for the fork in the path, to take the option that would actually let him save someone.

---

At the end of the path, as the rain trickled to a stop, Zuko found a familiar house and Not-Mai waiting for him. He was ashamed that his eyes fell on Not-Mai first where she was lounging on the forest floor, her black cloak spread beneath her. She looked up at him, her funeral robes in disarray and falling from her bare shoulders, and cooed, "Hello, sailor."

Behind her, a man's tortured scream rang out from the house, and a shudder moved up Zuko's spine.

Not-Mai rolled over to lie on her back and continued, "Oh, but that's right, you're not a sailor. Not anymore. How long did your glorious captaincy last? Three days? Four?" More speech came from the house, worried and urgent, but another scream- the same familiar voice- drowned them out.

Zuko found his hands tightening into fists. "I was captain for almost two weeks. We visited the Western Air Temple, and then sailed for the Earth Kingdom. We visited several ports in the colonies."

"And then they sent you ashore to ask your questions about arrow tattoos and ran for the setting sun, fleeing the sour tongue of their prince." Not-Mai giggled, twisting on her cloak. "I suppose your crew became pirates. Your nation has no love for deserters, even if the captain the left behind was just a boy whining for his mother's bosom."

Zuko reached down, grabbed the cloak spread on the ground, and yanked it from beneath Not-Mai, spinning and spilling her onto the mud. She laughed as Zuko marched past her and dragged the cloak along the ground, ruining both sides of it before casting it in a puddle. He approached this ominous house in his path, and as he really looked at it for the first time, he sucked in a pained breath.

He knew this place. It wasn't just a home; it was a small clinic, a place of healing for its village, though the village itself was nowhere to be seen in this forest. The scream rang out again from within, and Zuko hurried to the door and slid it open.

It was bright inside, thanks to the combination of crystal lamps and flame lanterns that were hung in clusters from the ceiling. The people who worked here needed as much light as possible when surgery was necessary, and it seemed to be necessary now. Two large men were holding a thrashing patient down on the central table, while a woman worked on the man's face, blocking it from Zuko's view. A second woman was mixing something at a table off to the side, furiously grinding herbs and calling, "I'm making more!"

The first woman, her hair close-cropped but her hanbok flaring out as she turned, shouted back, "No! He's had too much already! He's burning it right out of his own blood! He'll have to just ride this out." The patient thrashed again beneath her, and Zuko finally noticed the man's hands. They were battered, bloody, and filthy, but not yet calloused.

And little tongues of flames danced across them, not yet bursting into sustained fire.

One of the large assistants glanced at the patient's hands, and then back at the first woman. "Song, how much longer?"

"The infection runs deep. I think- I think I'm going to have to take the eye."

She did something that made the patient scream again, and this time, when he flung his hands out, a burst of fire popped into the air.

The assistant said, "Uh, maybe we can take a break first?"

The woman- Song- shook her head and took a deep breath. "If the infection gets to his brain..." She trailed off as she got back to work, and the patient roared.

Zuko was leaning against the wall, not trusting his legs to support him. He knew this clinic. After he had been marooned in the colonies by his traitorous crew, he had continued his quest to find the Avatar on his own, but he had little in the way of supplies, and his money had run out quickly. He hadn't been able to change the bandages on his eye, not with anything clean enough for the job, and soon the fevers had set in, but he didn't let that stop him on his quest, pushing on to the Eastern Air Temple, sure that there would be some clues there as to the Avatar's location.

He had found this clinic when he wandered into a remote peasant village, and it was the last thing he saw before he blacked out.

He couldn't quite remember what happened when he woke up. There had been fire, and he ran from it.

Song gasped and stepped back from the table. "Done! Bandages!" The other woman quickly stepped in, wrapping the patient's face as the assistants held him down, and Zuko watched Song go to a bowl of water and wash the blood off her hands. So far, no one had taken notice of him. He began to doubt that they would, and he no longer felt any need to see this.

Outside, he found Not-Mai waiting. Her funeral robes were stained with mud, no longer pure, but her skin and hair were unsullied. "Why come back out? The path led here, and the rain has washed away the tracks, so the people inside are your best bet for finding poor abused Shugao. I suppose you could always just take your best guess and start walking through the forest, but I think that's entirely missing the spirit of this whole thing. No pun intended, I think. (It's hard to tell with this face I'm wearing.)"

The clinic was quiet now, but Zuko's worry didn't decrease. His fragmentary memory burned in his mind, and the echoes of terrified shrieks rang in his ears. The clinic was quiet now, but he wondered for how long.

Not-Mai grinned at him and hugged herself, caressing her bare shoulders. "That Song seemed very nice. What ever happened to her? She worked so hard to protect that useless brain of yours; I hope you rewarded her properly for her efforts."

Zuko turned and ran back into the clinic.

It was darker than before, with only a single crystal lantern left uncovered. The others must have departed, leaving only Song and the patient. He was lying on a pallet, his head mostly covered with bandages, while she precisely bathed his fevered brow with a cloth so that the dressings didn't get wet. It didn't look easy, with the patient shifting and muttering, but Song's patience seemed to know no bounds.

Zuko resolved to find a clue to Shugao's whereabouts as fast as possible, before-

Before.

Even in the low light, the muddy child-sized tracks were visible on the floor. They led right to the patient's pallet and stopped, but Zuko felt no need to follow them. He searched the ground in the general area around the tracks, running his hands over the dark floorboards, and was rewarded with the touch of metal against his fingers. Zuko grasped his find and raised it up close to his eye, so that the object would catch the light, and discovered that he was holding a pin made in the shape of the Fire Nation sigil. It was pure gold, making it a decoration that by law was reserved only for officers with noble blood. That it was shaped as a symbol of the Fire Nation itself meant this specific token belonged to someone whose whole person represented the Homeland.

Zuko had worn a token just like this, in Ba Sing Se. It had been a gift from his Uncle.

A pained groan broke Zuko out of his reverie. The patient was stirring on his pallet, and Zuko couldn't stop himself from turning to look.

Song was holding the patient down. "Don't move, sir. You're weak, and if you get up-"

"NOT WEAK!!"

With that roar came a burst of flames, and Song fell screaming to the floor, the damage to her hands obscured by the steam pouring off of them.

Zuko leaped to his feet and positioned himself in front of Song, facing down the patient as the bandaged man pushed up off the pallet. The patient advanced, his single visible eye unfocused, probably not even seeing Zuko.

But Zuko could see him.

Or rather, Zuko could see his own past self.

The other one lunged, fire flaring to life on his hands, but Zuko was quick, grapping his other self around the wrists and inhaling sharply. He didn't even realize that he was trying to Firebend until the flames went out at his instinctual command, and poisonous warmth flowed into the Qi-lines of his arms. The threat ended, he yanked and threw his past self across the clinic, disgusted at the very sight of the wild, bandaged face. The other's body crashed against the table stacked with herbs and medicines, and he collapsed to the floor. Zuko waited, but the other didn't move again.

Zuko crouched down beside Song, needing to see how badly she was injured. She was sobbing, holding her shaking arms out in front of her as though she couldn't make herself move them, and Zuko forced himself to examine the burned skin. It looked terrible, would at least leave rough red scars all over her hands and arms, and could very well lead to the arms having to be amputated. Song had her tearing eyes shut against the sight, and as she sobbed, Zuko reached out and took her burned hands in his own. Once again, that corrosive heat flowed into his arms, and before his eyes, time passed like the rapids of a rushing river, and Song's injuries became old scars. Her cries stopped and her tears dried, and she opened her eyes to look at Zuko and smile.

"I'm sorry," he said.

She nodded. "I know."

When Zuko stood and made to leave, his past self was gone.

---

The flame-sigil pin did not tell Zuko what path he needed to take, but he was beginning to understand something about this place. The path itself wasn't real; it was a series of tricks to guide Zuko to these waypoints of his history. The forest itself wasn't even a forest, but rather a labyrinth that was shaping him into the person he needed to be to find the exit. It was less a maze and more a process, with Zuko himself as the result.

Zuko was the result, and he was the path. He needed to know where to go within himself, and then he would find Shugao.

And the pin told him exactly where the boy was waiting.

Zuko strode through the forest with confidence. The glow of the trees no longer mattered, as he could find his way now even with his one eye closed. Instead, he sought for the fear, the confusion, the pain he had felt when he first stumbled out of the refugee cave and into the illusions of the ashland. When he had first left in search of Shugao, in search the boy who ran from the terrors of an abusive father, Zuko had found himself in a world that looked like the battlefield outside Ba Sing Se. Looking for the swirl of emotions that he had felt when he first saw the Outer Wall, the killing fields, the Fire Nation camp, Zuko could find his way back to that illusion.

And so he passed around an especially thick copse of trees and was suddenly walking in the village of tents that made up the Fire Nation's base on the frontlines of the Conquest of Ba Sing Se.

Soldiers were moving around, some of them injured, some of them with the unfocused stare of the battle-fatigued, all of them covered with the dust of landscape. Barked orders rang out and mixed with echoing groans of pain, and there was the metallic taste of defeat in the air. Zuko did not recognize this specific vantage point, but he knew the scene well. Father had finally showed some confidence in Zuko and given him the 41st division to assault the Outer Wall. They had been given catapults, and explosives, and archers, and orders to hold position until sunset, when Father promised that a surprise would be waiting.

Zuko had taken his troops and directed them to concentrate the full might of the Fire Nation against the Outer Wall and its barbarian defenders.

An hour later, they were running in retreat.

Zuko wandered through the camp, wary of whatever twisted surprise the Spirits had in store for him. Even so, it didn't strike him as at all out of the ordinary when one lieutenant came up to him, bowed, and said, "Your Highness, the camp is deserted! We couldn't find either Prince Ozai or any of the commanders!"

Zuko turned an incredulous stare to the soldier. "What? Were they ambushed while we were gone?"

"There- there are no signs of battle, my prince, and all the equipment needed for an attack was taken..."

And Zuko realized what was going on. "We were a distraction."

"You- you didn't know? Your Highness?"

Zuko looked down at his feet. "No. I- I-" What was he doing? He did know. Not at the time he led the attack, but after- wait, he had already realized this years ago. This wasn't happening now. This was another echo of the past. Zuko looked at the lieutenant speaking to him, and saw that the man wasn't wearing armor at all, but rather the green rags of the ashland refugees. There was no sharp Fire Nation beard on the man's chin, but rather gray, uneven stubble. Zuko looked around him; all the 'soldiers' here were refugees, men and woman dying a slow death in a cave in a mountain in an ashland. The sky and land around them might be that of Ba Sing Se, but the people were not the same as that day, years ago.

But where was Shugao?

With a sickening lurch of realization, Zuko knew exactly. No sooner did the truth blossom in his mind than the refugees were once again armored soldiers, and those who could were all running, answering the call to arms sounded by the horns of their commanders. As they fell into ranks, Zuko could see squad leaders waving directions at their subordinates, shouting, "Form up! Back to the wall!" and, "Double-time, march!" and, "Prince Zuko has ordered us to support his father's assault on the wall!"

It was happening again. When Zuko had discovered that his true mission was to be a distraction, he had taken a spyglass and rode with some scouts back to the wall, and sure enough, found another battle going on at the Outer Wall's northeastern side, behind the curve of the wall where Zuko wouldn't have been able to see it while he and the 41st conducted their own assault. He and the scouts had met a group of injured who were retreating, telling of mounting casualties and increased resistance, and Zuko knew that it was his fault, that he hadn't been able to hold position as he was ordered and split the attention of the wall's defenders. So he did the only thing he could do, in the face of his failure.

He had led his troops to reinforce his father.

Now, Zuko ran after the soldiers. He had to find Shugao, and if he had any sense of the way this farce was being conducted, the boy would be exactly where Zuko himself had been years ago, in the saddle of a komodo dragon at the head of the charge.

Somehow, Zuko was able to run faster than the soldiers- no, they were once again refugees, stumbling along on bleeding feet to rescue Father. He outpaced komodo rhinos that became bloated moo-sows, and the dusty landscape whirled around him, becoming ash and forest and mountains and finally mud. He arrived at the foot of the Outer Wall to find the battle fully joined, Fire Nation soldiers wearing the Phoenix badge of his father's personal command fighting alongside ash-streaked refugees against Earth Kingdom soldiers and laughing shadows. Death was all around him, but he had to find Father-

-no, Shugao-

-no, himself.

He arrived at the heart of the fighting, where Father and his squad of guards were clustered in a defensive formation, holding back the spears of the enemy, and Zuko saw a komodo rhino ride into the fray, driven by a little boy with Zuko's old face, dressed in rags with gold flame sigil pins on his collar. The boy was throwing fire from his fists at the enemy, no form or discipline in his attack, just pure desperation to save his father. The spearmen shifted against the surprise assault, and Zuko-

-Shugao-

-Zuko made himself look for Ozai, and instead found Shugao's father, the old shuffling man with loose skin and thin bones, standing in the midst of the Phoenix Guard. The man raised a fist and summoned a flame, and surely he was going to help his son, to strike at the Earth Kingdom soldiers that were their common enemy. It was a risky move, because aim could be off and shots could miss, but-

-but-

-Father's gaze was fixed on Zuko-

-Shugao-

-a fist was flung forward-

-the fire arced with a perfect, precise curve-

-no, the report said friendly fire from one of the Phoenix Guard-

-Grandfather said it was an accident, and so not serviceable punishment for a coward who disobeyed orders and fled from a battle-

-Azula said that Father wanted him back now-

-the fireball slammed into Shugao's face and knocked him right out of the rhino's saddle.

Zuko screamed and fell to his knees, and the battle froze around him. Not-Mai's laughter rang out over the newly quiet battlefield, and she sauntered into view with her funeral robes on full display, once more straightened and in place, perfectly white and glowing with cleanliness amidst the dusty and bloody warriors.

"Well," she said when she was finished chuckling. "That was informative! And here I thought you were going to run away, or at least close that eye of yours, but no, you took in the whole view and never thought about denying it. You've won a modicum of my respect, Prince Zuko." She came to a stop in front of Zuko and laid her muddy cloak over his shoulders, soiling him with the filth of the battlefield. Zuko didn’t move as she bent down and kissed his brow. Her hands stroked his face, and as Zuko closed his eye against the assault, she whispered, "Take solace in this face, and let me take your pain away."

Zuko rose and wrapped her in his arms, held her close against him, and willed the fire in his heart to come to life.

For the first time since he burned Song, the flame in his heart responded, and Not-Mai screamed as the fire ate at her illusion of flesh.

Her body convulsed and she let go of Zuko. He felt no need to continue holding her up, so he allowed her writhing to twist her out of his grip, and she dropped to the mud. Her funeral robes had burned away, but instead of Mai's pale flesh, scorched, wart-covered green skin was revealed. Zuko waited, holding the flames within.

“You-“ Not-Mai eventually looked up. " You could have- just said- you weren't in the mood."

Zuko took an attack stance, a Firebending position that would let him go on the offensive in an instant. "How do I get out of here? I saw your little show, and now I need to be on my way. Do I have to kill you to make the illusion end?"

Not-Mai barked a laugh, but it immediately made her cringe and twist with pain. "Ow. Don't make me giggle. If- if the way out really was to kill me, then do you really think I would tell you? You- you've come so- so far tonight. Don't ask- don't ask stupid questions. Hnnnng."

So be it. Zuko drew a fist back, ready to end this Spirit with one clean blow-

"Wait! Don't!"

Shugao ran up out of the forest of frozen soldiers and grabbed Zuko's arm.

Zuko pulled back in surprise. Was the boy real, then? He had started to think that Shugao was just part of the illusion- or was this another trick of the Spirits?

The boy looked up with the same face that Mother had so gently caressed when she was still alive. "The Spirit won't have any power over you when the sun comes up! Just leave it! Take me back to my home."

Zuko blinked, trying to shake the vision of his own face, to see what this boy really looked like. "Your father- I saw what he- what he did! I can't take you back!"

"Then why do you want to go back so badly?"

The flame within Zuko snuffed out in an instant, and a chill breeze licked at his fingers.

The cold spread from his heart all along his Qi-lines, racking his body with shivers. Why did he want to go back? He had seen the truth here, but- but how much of it was real? Zuko's memories had informed all the lies that had been built for his torture, but he didn't actually remember what happened in that battle. He had been fighting, and then he had been struck, and he knew no more until he awoke later. Perhaps it really had been an accident, perhaps Father hadn't even been the one responsible, and that old nightmare of the glimpse he got out of the corner of his eye was just childish fear that the Spirits had given form for their amusement. It might not be true at all. And yet it had felt true, a moment ago.

But Azula said that Father wanted him back.

That Father regretted the banishment that Grandfather had placed as a result of the accusation.

Either way, Zuko could not shrink away from his path. He had wasted the last few years of his life, and couldn't continue to live in fear and failure forever.

One way or another, Zuko would embrace his Father, and take his rightful place as a Prince of the Fire Nation.

The warmth of that thought flooded Zuko's body, and it was a simple matter to punch, exhale, and set Not-Mai on fire.

She burned as though made of wood, completely engulfed in an instant as she screamed and hissed and smoked. The flames spread to the ground around her- mud turned to dried leaves and dead branches- and soon a bonfire was roaring in front of Zuko. He backed away, knowing he had to assert control over the flames, but his heart was beating and the heat was boiling his blood and now the soldiers were all trees and the Outer Wall was the canopy of leaves above his head and the fire was spreading and the forest was burning and-

-Shugao screamed as he burned, too.

The world became flame, and Zuko succumbed to the heat.

---

He awoke in complete darkness, and before he could think about it, he raised a hand and summoned a flame to light the way.

Zuko was in the cave, the heart of the mountain in the heart of the ashland, and it was a place of death. No torches fouled the air, and no people gave dying life to the place. The remnants of a camp were strewn all over the place, but they were covered in dust and mold and hardened wolfbat droppings, well on their way to nothingness. Here and there were bones as well, and Zuko looked carefully to make sure there were no signs of burning on them. However long ago this camp had lived, its remnants were undisturbed.

He found Azula, June, and the shirshu at the center of what had been the camp, all of them huddled together in sleep. He awoke June first, since she would be needed to keep her animal companion calm, and when she looked up at Zuko, she said, "Forsaken ashland. Is it over?"

Zuko nodded in the light of his flame.

"Good." June then got up and began seeing to the shirshu, while Zuko went on to his sister. She was cringing in her sleep, her body was tense, and it was with great care that he woke her, calling her name and being sure not to touch her. Her eyes snapped open and her hands formed fists, but when she saw Zuko, she relaxed. Marginally.

Azula got her feet and dusted herself off before she spoke. "So. Was it truly caused by Spirits?"

Zuko nodded. "I don't know if I chased them off or destroyed them, but they seem to be gone now. We should get out of here while the sun is up. I think it will help protect us from whatever might still be here."

June cracked her whip. "Don't have to tell me twice, Prince Zuko. Let's saddle up!"

---

The ashland they found outside was without power. A rain must have fallen during the night, for when the shirshu bounded out of the cave, it was into a shining sun and onto a muddy terrain that was content to stay where it was and not attempt to ride the breeze. If the shirshu was having trouble with the slippery, gritty ground, it gave no sign, and made great time as it loped as fast as it could.

While they rode, Azula turned to look at Zuko in the saddle and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you were Firebending back there. I assume that you resolved your problem while dealing with- well, whatever you were dealing with?"

Zuko took deep breath, focusing on the air's passage through his nostrils and down into the lungs where it became fuel for his Qi. He could feel the Qi within his body, the network of energy that stretched throughout his fibers and touched the edge of spirit. It was stronger now than it had been in years, thanks to his body's restoration over the last month, and the flame within answered his call and flared out along the paths of energy. Zuko exhaled a thin stream of smoke, and looked at his sister. "I'm once again who I should be."

"Excellent. Well, it's as Grandfather always says, that which doesn't kill you just makes you stronger. I suppose that goes for Spirits, as well."

Zuko thought back to his quest, and how Shugao-

No, how he himself had burned.

"I suppose it does."

And he would have to be strong, if he was going to defeat the Avatar.

TO BE CONTINUED