Shipping Month - What a Choice

What a Choice

Choice is the cruelest possible gift.

When I heard that Zuzu was being held for me at the Boiling Rock, it was like the universe was rewarding my performance and loyalty for my Father. Of course, such a notion is ridiculous. There's no such thing as Fate, or Destiny, and the Spirits surely have no interest in directing the affairs of humanity. All we have to deal with is choice, from the day we are born to the day we die.

And people like my Uncle say that the world isn't a terrible place.

I brought Mai and Ty Lee with me, of course, and I even let Mai have the first run at Zuzu. I know, it was quite generous of me, but I have to admit that I had an ulterior motive. I know Mai is loyal to me, and while she held up with characteristic stoicism after Zuko's betrayal, I felt it important that she get the chance to truly be herself once again. Zuzu thinks Mai is a nice girl, whatever that is, but I know the truth. She's a bully, a misanthrope, who only takes pleasure (or any interest at all) in the pain of others. Don't get me wrong, I never tried to turn the girl into a monster, that's just the way she was born. It's what first caught my notice, and among my many gifts is the ability to help people be who they really are.

Zuzu forgets that, frequently.

In any event, it turned out that my brother wasn't the only prize awaiting me in the prison. A full-scale breakout was underway, and when the perpetrators were revealed, I was delighted to see that the mastermind was the Water Tribe boy.

Sokka.

Sometimes, I whisper his name to myself.

I was with great... satisfaction that I went to meet him and Zuzu in combat. Ty Lee, my perfect little minion, kept the Kyoshi girl occupied, and I was left to handle the boys. If I learned anything from my recent visit to Ember Island (aside from the fact that all my friends are silly losers), it's that the normal methods of relating to boys are beneath me. For your average girl, or even Ty Lee, empty flirting is quite adequate, but I am destined for something greater (of course). Although I thought it would be a lonely road, it was obvious that I would have to wait for an appropriate companion, one who would respond best to the displays of power and domination.

Oddly, Zuzu matched the criteria.

Quite appropriate.

There was one other. Yes, the Water Tribe boy. Sokka. Sokka. He and Zuzu stood together, willing, wanting to fight me. Believe me, I wanted it every bit as much.

Now, Sokka is interesting. He's Water Tribe trash, of course. I shudder to think how he managed to infiltrate the Fire Nation as a whole and the Boiling Rock specifically, because his face is practically a map of the Water Tribe poles. (His is the Southern. I wrote that down.) A lady of my breeding and stature should be disgusted by such a visage. Yet, I am nothing if not unique, and have reached such heights that there are few acts or feelings so base that they could actually sully me. So, yes, I'll admit, Sokka was attractive.

I found that I enjoyed being attracted. It was almost like a chase.

Furthermore, Sokka was just as responsive as Zuzu to my... gifts. Yes. He didn't fear Fire or power, but he responded to them just the same. It took work, and a little unwilling help from the Kyoshi girl, but he could be broken just like any other boy. That it required extra effort and imagination on my part just made it all the more satisfying.

Quite satisfying.

So, really, you could say that the fight between me, and a team of Zuzu and this Sokka, was almost like a fantasy. I didn't have to make a choice, pick one boy or another. Both were pushing at me in tandem, sharing my attentions without a bit of jealousy. Well, let me amend that previous thought- it wasn't a true fantasy, because those involved either loyally serving my father, or my own ascension to new heights of power, or both. It was close, though.

I might have to revise my definition of "fantasy." I could come to like the new dimensions I discovered.

So we fought. I have to say, Zuzu was magnificent. He was destined to lose, of course, and it was worrying that he had managed to grow as a Firebender in such a short time, but it wasn't the moment for such concerns. Sokka was fighting with his sword, handling the offense, while Zuzu defended from even my greatest Fire attacks. I had to give ground to avoid being skewered, but I was in no real danger. Most other warriors would be, but not me. Difficult triumphs were what gave my life meaning.

So we moved back and forth, a living system of fighters, and with every second, I grew ever more joyful.

It's a shame things had to end. I felt like I could have kept the motion going forever.

Still, the finale, when Zuzu and the delicious Water Tribe boy died in screaming agony, would be the most satisfying moment of the whole proceedings.

Of my life, perhaps.

Is it any wonder I wanted to kill Mai when she ruined it?

However, I wound up letting her rot in prison. It's the same difference, in the end, and to tell the truth, it isn't just Zuko and Sokka for whom I hold tender regards.

How could I ever choose?

END