Best Day Ever

Best Day Ever

"Assault? You bet your hideous yellow-green robes it was an assault. Twenty-five knives worth. And he's lucky it wasn't more. No one touches me without written approval."

- Excerpt from the Deposition of The Accused

---

"The good news is that I have experience with Chin's court system, and a perfect trial record," Sokka began.

"Also," Suki put in, a little too smoothly, "I'm an expert on the local culture, so we won't have to worry about any little misunderstandings this time."

Sokka crossed his arms and glared at the (off duty) Kyoshi Warrior. "It was just that one, and it wound up not being a big deal. If there were any problems, it was with Aang. First he mixed up all the evidence that I painstakingly uncovered, and then he confessed to the crime! Well, Kyoshi did, but Aang made her."

Suki eyed Sokka and gave him one of those placating smiles that he frequently brought out of her. "And the charges were still dropped in the end." She turned back to her 'client.' "So, really, you don't have anything to worry about. The two of us will coordinate everything for you, Aang has promised to speak on your behalf, and if we can get you remanded to Zuko's custody... well, we win!"

Mai just stared at the pair. "You know, my old set of friends would have just given me the jailbreak I asked for. Azula was good at that kind of thing." She reached into her sleeve for a blade to play with, remembered that all of her weapons had been confiscated during her arrest, and awkwardly put her hands back on her lap. "You couldn't even steal my blades back."

Sokka's eyes narrowed. "But Azula tried to kill you," he said with a pointed finger.

Suki nodded sagely. "Trade-offs."

Mai sighed.

---

In the Shrine Theater, Katara and Toph took their seats in the front row. The trial wouldn't begin for a while, but neither girl felt much like enjoying the Avatar Day festivities now, and if they had to wait around, they might as well get good seats. They sat in silence for a long moment.

It was Toph, of course, who spoke first. "I actually kind of feel sorry for Mai."

Katara looked over in mild surprise. "Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, she's a little wussy for getting so worked about being in a crowd, but I can kind of understand how she feels about that. I'm not crazy about all that noise, and there's the vibrations of so many people stomping around, and I hate fireworks, so... yeah, I can really understand why she freaked out. She doesn't get out much, and we all know how colors scare her."

Katara felt herself nodding. "When you put it that way, I guess it was a natural reaction. For her. But... still, bringing the knives out..."

"Hey," Toph laughed, "compared to what I would have done if that guy grabbed my waist and tried to push a raw dough ball in my face? Crazy Guy got off easy with a few cuts and a ruined robe."

Katara couldn't help but smile, picturing Chin's town square erupting into a ballistic earthquake. "That's true. That's very true. So, do you think she'll get off okay?"

"Zuko and Twinkletoes are all over it. They've been talking to the mayor about it since she was arrested."

"Yeah," Katara sighed. "I'm worried, too."

---

Suki quietly slipped into the conference room, and took a seat next to Zuko. The Fire Lord let his attention shift over to the (off duty) Kyoshi Warrior. "How is she?" he whispered.

Suki glanced at the rest of the table, where the village council looked like they were badgering Aang. "Sokka's coaching her about her testimony."

"And?"

"And she's sighing a lot."

"Okay," Zuko breathed in relief. "She's doing fine, then."

"How far have you guys gotten?"

"They agreed that the First Lesser Wheel would be used unless seven-eighths of the audience votes for the Wheel of Violent Punishments. Providing Mai isn't unanimously voted to be Not Guilty, of course. Now we're negotiating the makeup of each wheel. From what I can tell, they're more enthusiastic about punishments than they can actually fit onto each wheel, so they like to swap them out regularly for more variety. Aang just talked them into removing '10 Lashings' from the Violent wheel, and so once we get 'Bad Sunburn' taken off, it will be more like the Wheel of Mild Physical Annoyances."

"Nice. What are you bargaining with?"

"We were thinking of offering a Guilty plea. We have a good case for Temporary Insanity, but if we give them the opportunity to cut to 'the good part,' then they'll probably give us the sunburn penalty."

Suki frowned. "They you'll lose your chance at the First Lesser Wheel."

"We will?"

"Yeah, here in Chin, anyone too weak to protest the charges is considered to be more deserving of a bad punishment. If they brought up that deal, they're trying to trick you."

Zuko's face hardened, and Suki was reminded of the way he looked when he attacked her home as an agent of his father. "Got it." He leaned over to whisper to Aang.

The negotiations got a little more heated after that, but didn't seem to be speeding up any. Suki was just considering sneaking back out to check on Sokka and/or Mai when she realized that one of the Councilmen was leering at her. "What?"

"I said that if the Avatar and the Fire Lord are reluctant to enter a Guilty plea, perhaps it would sound better coming from you, young lady. You're very pretty."

Aang looked pained. Zuko just looked embarrassed to actually be in the same room as these people.

Suki lightly smacked her own forehead. "I'll just pretend I left the room before you said that. Kyoshi Island really has gone to war for less, and that would just be too much trouble with the Avatar sitting right here. See you."

She heard Aang take up the point as the door closed behind her. "So, in exchange for protecting you from the sworn vengeance of the Kyoshi Warriors, perhaps we can take 'Bad Sunburn' off the table..."

---

"So. Mai. You ready? You got your story down? You remember all my strategic tips? You good to go?"

"Sokka, if you don't stop massaging my shoulders, I will make you my first priority when I get my knives back."

The Water Tribe Warrior pulled his hands back as though burned. "Right. Sorry. Okay, time to go out there. Don't be nervous."

Mai sighed. "I'm not."

"I know," Sokka insisted with a convulsive nod. "But I tend to get over-excited about this kind of thing."

"Shut up," Mai offered, and then walked out to the center of the amphitheater.

The crowd stared down at her, while her friends leaned forward in the front row and offered signs and expressions ranging from terrified hope to bored indifference. (Good to know she could always count on Toph to keep a cool head.) Behind her, two different Wheels of Punishment stood ready, guarded by a uniformed man with a staff and a face so dour even Mai felt outclassed.

The mayor of this stupid little village- Chin, she thought she recalled, after some obscure conqueror- stepped forward from behind the dour man with a flourish, and began speaking in his grating, high-pitched voice. "We all enjoy Avatar Day, back from the days when we burned the Avatar in effigy, to today when we celebrate Avatar Aang's dramatic rescue of our village from the demonic 'Rough Rhinos.' We are the envy of the world in our celebratory attitudes, drawing visitors from Kyoshi Island, the great city of Gaolin, and even as far as the Fire Nation and Water Tribes. But this woman, with her anti-celebration agenda, sought to disrupt our party by bringing weapons and assaulting one of our greatest kneaders of the Unfried Dough Treats. The evil she wrought must be made up to us, and shall, through the public punishment she deserves. And so I leave it in the people's hands."

He stepped back.

Mai stepped forward.

She eyed the crowd one more time, taking in their ugly robes, their stupid hats, and the many rather malformed faces. She took a deep breath, and spoke louder than she ever did (except for when she was yelled at Zuko back during that rather annoying trip to the beach early in their relationship). "You're all nuts, this is a stupid town, and what kind of a freak grabs a foreign stranger anyway! I'm glad I did it, and I'd do it again." Then she held up both her hands and made a gesture that would have killed her mother if she saw. "Smiling!"

In the front row, Sokka deflated. "Why don't they ever listen to me?" he mumbled.

---

The vote was clear. Mai was declared guilty, and made to spin the Wheel of Punishment. With an easy flick of her wrist, she set it into motion. She very precisely targeted 'Community Service as Administered by Local Fire Lord.' The wheel spun with the speed of a thrown knife, settling slowly onto the final punishment. It approached a stop right where Mai wanted it… and then passed it by.

She missed.

"Oil," the dour man declared.

---

"Well, that wasn't so bad," Suki said, after looking Mai over.

"It could have been a lot worse," Zuko allowed, reluctantly. "Katara, can't you help her with that?"

"I can't bend oil." The Waterbender shrugged helplessly. "It won't even wash off easily, being so thick."

"At least it wasn't cold oil," Aang said thoughtfully. "I mean, boiling oil is bad, but what if it were really cold, too? Slightly warm oil was probably for the best."

Sokka looked intrigued by that idea. "How cold does oil have to get before it freezes? It boils hotter than water does, right?"

Aang shrugged.

Lying on the grass near where everyone else was sitting, Toph gave an annoyed growl. "I'm bored. Are we ready to leave yet?"

"After Mai's bath," Zuko declared.

"Speaking of which," Mai growled from her position at the center of attention, "why are you all still sitting around staring at me?"

No one spoke. Finally, Sokka decided to take the plunge. "Honestly, you're the most entertaining thing I ever saw in this village. Want to go get arrested again?"

Mai, dripping greasy, sludge-like oil, looked at her friends, and the still celebrating village down the road, and sighed. She'd be charred if she admitted that the day turned out a lot more interesting than she had even hoped.

END